[IMAGINE IF I MADE YOU WRITE ANOTHER FIGHT THREAD AFTER ALL THE FIGHTING BIRDS AND ALSO MATSUI HELP. No this is fine. Kaveh is a decent fighter, but despite being stuck with it for weeks here, a smaller sword isn't what he's used to. He's also not really the type to spar for fun, prefers to end fights quickly and with great force--but he's not fighting to win, not that he could against Buzen anyway. It's more like Buzen is a punching bag, something solid to throw himself against to work through all the residual feelings from Ruby's death.
Eventually, he slows down, then stops. He does feel better, even though he looks like he wants to cry again. It's an improvement--landing on a single feeling he can make sense of.]
no just kidding buzen is content to be a punching bag - he's back to thinking that no one here can beat him, even though that was very soundly proven false. when kaveh stops, buzen will sheath his sword only when kaveh does... and just go to approach. he puts a hand on his shoulder.]
... I know. You all tried.
But I think... her conviction was already too far gone.
[This is how we both get death because Kaveh would die of trauma about it]
...I understand what she went through. A little bit. When I went to Netzach's world with Alex and Eiden--we had to do the same things, over and over. We died so many times, and we had to fight so many things... even now, sometimes I wonder if we're going to wake up there again. [It got a little better for a while, but only because he was so distracted by all the other horrible things that were happening here.] But still, I thought...
[He'd had no idea she'd made herself into the weapon. He can't even really believe that maybe there was a chance to go back again, to fix it all--because how do you undo something like that?]
Yeah. We went on a mission based off of Setsu-san's memories too - more and more loops of time. It really hurts, time and time again. Getting attached to people, and then losing them. But hoping that there might be some way to end it all in a way that saves everybody... but ultimately knowing there probably isn't.
[time shenanigans suck and buzen always feel like the answer is simply that you just live with what you've got. he already hated this much time travel, after all]
There's nothing wrong with hope, Kaveh-san. I still think that's true. I'll always want to hope for something better.
... but your hope seems to keep stabbing you. Are you going to be okay?
[It's such a complicated situation for Kaveh, the whole thing. He'd meant it when he told Vash that he wouldn't necessarily go back and undo all the pain that happened in his own life--they'd agreed that it would fundamentally change them as people, and possibly rob them of precious experiences. But that was before Kaveh had the option to just... undo horrible things with the press of a button, and seemingly no consequences. And this, too--fixing things, saving everyone--it felt different. But then, what Ruby went through...
...Ugh. It hurts his head, and his heart.
Eight weeks ago, the question probably would've riled him up, made him prickly and defensive; now, he just looks down and leans into him a little.]
I don't know how else to be. [He's spoiled with peace, back home. This is one of his strongest character flaws anyway--but there's a huge difference between finding yourself destitute from your own choices and failing to save a girl who turned herself into a weapon out of pure despair.
And, actually--as they talk, a stray pig can run by, and Buzen can get this memory.]
but buzen will let the memory play out and then look to kaveh - he understands him a little better, he thinks, even if he still finds humanity as a whole to be a confusing thing. when kaveh leans into him, buzen's automatic to just keep an arm around his shoulders.]
... you don't have to be different. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, or how much you care. If anything, I'd say that I like it a lot.
[he prefers it, over the humans that end up waging war so easily or who will let their squabbles turn to bloodshed]
But... my comrades struggles with emotions in a similar way too. Partially because they're so new to them, and they can feel so... big. Even if their souls are also forged around the idea of protecting humanity, and wanting better.
I worry about you the way I worry about them... I also think you're going to be okay, just like them.
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Eventually, he slows down, then stops. He does feel better, even though he looks like he wants to cry again. It's an improvement--landing on a single feeling he can make sense of.]
...I really thought we could save her.
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no just kidding buzen is content to be a punching bag - he's back to thinking that no one here can beat him, even though that was very soundly proven false. when kaveh stops, buzen will sheath his sword only when kaveh does... and just go to approach. he puts a hand on his shoulder.]
... I know. You all tried.
But I think... her conviction was already too far gone.
no subject
...I understand what she went through. A little bit. When I went to Netzach's world with Alex and Eiden--we had to do the same things, over and over. We died so many times, and we had to fight so many things... even now, sometimes I wonder if we're going to wake up there again. [It got a little better for a while, but only because he was so distracted by all the other horrible things that were happening here.] But still, I thought...
[He'd had no idea she'd made herself into the weapon. He can't even really believe that maybe there was a chance to go back again, to fix it all--because how do you undo something like that?]
no subject
Yeah. We went on a mission based off of Setsu-san's memories too - more and more loops of time. It really hurts, time and time again. Getting attached to people, and then losing them. But hoping that there might be some way to end it all in a way that saves everybody... but ultimately knowing there probably isn't.
[time shenanigans suck and buzen always feel like the answer is simply that you just live with what you've got. he already hated this much time travel, after all]
There's nothing wrong with hope, Kaveh-san. I still think that's true. I'll always want to hope for something better.
... but your hope seems to keep stabbing you. Are you going to be okay?
no subject
...Ugh. It hurts his head, and his heart.
Eight weeks ago, the question probably would've riled him up, made him prickly and defensive; now, he just looks down and leans into him a little.]
I don't know how else to be. [He's spoiled with peace, back home. This is one of his strongest character flaws anyway--but there's a huge difference between finding yourself destitute from your own choices and failing to save a girl who turned herself into a weapon out of pure despair.
And, actually--as they talk, a stray pig can run by, and Buzen can get this memory.]
no subject
but buzen will let the memory play out and then look to kaveh - he understands him a little better, he thinks, even if he still finds humanity as a whole to be a confusing thing. when kaveh leans into him, buzen's automatic to just keep an arm around his shoulders.]
... you don't have to be different. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, or how much you care. If anything, I'd say that I like it a lot.
[he prefers it, over the humans that end up waging war so easily or who will let their squabbles turn to bloodshed]
But... my comrades struggles with emotions in a similar way too. Partially because they're so new to them, and they can feel so... big. Even if their souls are also forged around the idea of protecting humanity, and wanting better.
I worry about you the way I worry about them... I also think you're going to be okay, just like them.