Kaveh (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ohthehumanities) wrote2023-06-10 01:06 pm
ohthehumanities) wrote2023-06-10 01:06 pm
catchall; rang lee
rang ding dong is a much less catchy song name
rang ding dong is a much less catchy song name
rang ding dong is a much less catchy song name
no subject
But yeah Kaveh is. Lmao. Basically the exact opposite of Rang--he's a nuclear bomb of sorrow and guilt, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them. The emotions don't change even when he spots Rang, though Rang's words cause him to close his eyes as a fresh wave of sympathy and grief washes over him.
Softly:]
...Do you think he will?
no subject
rang feels kaveh's sorrow and guilt, thinks that hilariously -- the one thing he can appreciate from matsui is that he's been so inundated by grief that it's like he's erected a wall against anyone else's.
that is, it's what he thinks, but the sorrow still reaches him anyway, and he thinks that maybe the holes matsui punctured in him are still bleeding out even now,]
I do. [calmly] Whoever erased Buzen must have known that too.
Even if Matsui survives until next week, someone might get it into their head to erase him out of kindness.
no subject
The worst part is, he can't even argue against it. He thinks of Matsui, who refused to let anyone take his guilt from him after D's guilt was known. Who came to him, specifically asking to share in Kaveh's anger at Buzen, unwilling to be treated with human empathy.
There's nothing he can say. He doesn't want Matsui to follow Buzen--but Kaveh remembers what it was like, begging and crying in vain for a loved one that would never return. He can't say he doesn't understand. That it wouldn't be cruel to ask Matsui to hang on when he has nothing to go back to. To fight, when he has nothing to fight for.
Kaveh breathes shakily, lifting a hand to rub at his eyes before he looks at Rang again.]
...What about you?
no subject
for a brief moment, but still. a moment.]
...I'll most likely die too. My fate is tied with Matsui's, like it's been since the beginning.
[when they were still a team -- thinking of that feels so long ago, even to rang, who's lived for centuries]
And the reapers made it clear about about happens if only one person is left.
no subject
A low, burning anger breaks through his sorrow and guilt, then; it won't survive his grief, but for now, it's present.]
It's not okay. [That Buzen is gone, and Matsui is, most likely, soon to follow. That Rang, for all his needling and provocations, will be punished for nothing.] I don't care if it's a "privilege" or not. None of this is okay.
i really wrote about about
[dryly, because he cannot be anything else in the face of Kaveh's anger. because he doesn't want to think about how it isn't okay, that once again, he is dying because someone out there looked at his life and thought they'd better off if he was gone,
that the rest had to be pulled in with him -- this team that he'd never wanted in the first place, and had managed to leave an impression on him.]
I'm not kind like Buzen or Rin. I would have erased someone here sooner or later. And if Matsui breaks and I'm still alive until next week, then I most likely will.
I can't read it's fine
[He isn't naive. He's said from the beginning that he knows he can't ask people not to fight for their survival. And Rang--well. Rang's made his own stance crystal clear. Kaveh isn't so blindly optimistic as to have thought Rang would never hurt anyone; the main reason he'd realized Rin's killer was most likely D was precisely because he hadn't taken the opportunity to flaunt it at him.
And yet--Rang didn't ask for this any more than they did. He certainly didn't ask to be betrayed and abandoned, and Kaveh suspects, from that moment in the salon, that this is not the first time that's happened. Kaveh will argue with Rang, will stand his ground and lash out without hesitation, but he can't act like Rang deserves any of this. He is simply incapable of surrendering his empathy.
You have been burdened with a tender heart.
Maybe so--but at least Kaveh was born with one. He doesn't want to think about Matsui, who's somehow, through some magic Kaveh doesn't understand, been burdened with a heart at all.]
Can't you just--shut up and let me be angry for you, for once?
no subject
I have enough anger and rage to spare.
[he's always been angry, he thinks he always will be. he doesn't know what to do with kaveh if he's not angry AT him, he thinks kaveh's soft heart should be plucked out -- like matsui's,
at least that way neither of them will be in pain]
...But I suppose I can't tell you to how to feel.
[he's never been able to]
no subject
...You are one of the most grating people I have ever met. If we got out of here tomorrow and I never saw you again, it would be too soon. [THANKS KAVEH.... YOU'RE SO GOOD AT COMFORT.........] But now, of all times, you deserve to be angry.
no subject
What makes you think I'm not?
[aside from the fact that his emotion share has him feeling very pessimistic about his chances,]
I'm sure something annoying will happen during trial that will make me lose my temper. Someone wasting my time -- [GYUHYUK] or maybe even cursing me again. [it didn't happen to him but it happened to matsui so it still counts]
Or just the combined efforts of whichever team decided to target us, because even if they hadn't known beforehand -- they'll know by tomorrow.