ohthehumanities | catchall; rang lee

[They did, Kaveh knows. He remembers--remembers someone, or maybe multiple people, asking if the last man standing could possibly jump to another team before the end. Remembers hearing a no, though he's hazy on any other details.

A low, burning anger breaks through his sorrow and guilt, then; it won't survive his grief, but for now, it's present.]

It's not okay. [That Buzen is gone, and Matsui is, most likely, soon to follow. That Rang, for all his needling and provocations, will be punished for nothing.] I don't care if it's a "privilege" or not. None of this is okay.

I figured you'd say that.

[dryly, because he cannot be anything else in the face of Kaveh's anger. because he doesn't want to think about how it isn't okay, that once again, he is dying because someone out there looked at his life and thought they'd better off if he was gone,

that the rest had to be pulled in with him -- this team that he'd never wanted in the first place, and had managed to leave an impression on him.]

I'm not kind like Buzen or Rin. I would have erased someone here sooner or later. And if Matsui breaks and I'm still alive until next week, then I most likely will.

I know that.

[He isn't naive. He's said from the beginning that he knows he can't ask people not to fight for their survival. And Rang--well. Rang's made his own stance crystal clear. Kaveh isn't so blindly optimistic as to have thought Rang would never hurt anyone; the main reason he'd realized Rin's killer was most likely D was precisely because he hadn't taken the opportunity to flaunt it at him.

And yet--Rang didn't ask for this any more than they did. He certainly didn't ask to be betrayed and abandoned, and Kaveh suspects, from that moment in the salon, that this is not the first time that's happened. Kaveh will argue with Rang, will stand his ground and lash out without hesitation, but he can't act like Rang deserves any of this. He is simply incapable of surrendering his empathy.

You have been burdened with a tender heart.

Maybe so--but at least Kaveh was born with one. He doesn't want to think about Matsui, who's somehow, through some magic Kaveh doesn't understand, been burdened with a heart at all.]

Can't you just--shut up and let me be angry for you, for once?

[rang like hello WHAT DID I DO???? he thinks it's crazy that people can't take the fact that he's a murderer and use it to protect themselves. but this is what comes with teaming up with someone like d and buzen and matsui. those who have soft hearts and who care. the fact that rang is benefitting from their kindness, even now.]

I have enough anger and rage to spare.

[he's always been angry, he thinks he always will be. he doesn't know what to do with kaveh if he's not angry AT him, he thinks kaveh's soft heart should be plucked out -- like matsui's,

at least that way neither of them will be in pain]

...But I suppose I can't tell you to how to feel.

[he's never been able to]

[Sometimes, like Oz Vessalius, you simply cannot help caring about murderers.]

...You are one of the most grating people I have ever met. If we got out of here tomorrow and I never saw you again, it would be too soon. [THANKS KAVEH.... YOU'RE SO GOOD AT COMFORT.........] But now, of all times, you deserve to be angry.

[THE WAY THIS IS THE EXACT KIND OF COMFORT HE WILL ONLY ACCEPT,]

What makes you think I'm not?

[aside from the fact that his emotion share has him feeling very pessimistic about his chances,]

I'm sure something annoying will happen during trial that will make me lose my temper. Someone wasting my time -- [GYUHYUK] or maybe even cursing me again. [it didn't happen to him but it happened to matsui so it still counts]

Or just the combined efforts of whichever team decided to target us, because even if they hadn't known beforehand -- they'll know by tomorrow.

Edited (why did i write none instead of known) 2023-07-04 07:32 (UTC)

catchall; rang lee

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I can't read it's fine

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