... Uh, bad. I mean, glad we figured something out and—as miserable as this is, it means the pragmatic option was also technically correct. But it still sucks. A lot.
[That hurts a little, and he can't quite stop the thought that comes in response--If you'll answer, this time.--but he does look somewhat guilty about it. Sorry. That was unkind.]
Mm. [He sighs.] ...It would feel wrong not to find the answers. But it doesn't hurt any less when we do.
[ she shrugs loosely at the thoughts because. eh. she didn't mean for him to hear it so it's not like he's supposed to reply to it. she thinks this even though she has been just responding to people's thoughts out loud all week like a weirdo. ]
I guess it kind of goes without saying. Like, solving a murder is never gonna turn up an answer that makes you go, "Oh, thank God."
[Thoughtshare is truly the funniest week tbh everyone like DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE MY THOUGHTS /calls out other people's thoughts]
I guess so. [He runs a hand through his hair, stressed.] ...I never had to deal with this sort of thing before. I can't tell if it's better or worse, that it hasn't gotten any easier.
[Or--well. Something like it, for those among them who weren't. Creatures with hearts that can still be injured, no matter how many times they're broken.]
[He thinks of Netzach, and how much sense his exhaustion makes after living his life. He thinks of Yuzuriha's memory, when she'd so calmly granted someone a merciful death. He thinks of Wolfwood and Vash and Livio, and the way that they've been taught that survival is a privilege.
Most people think Kaveh's an idealist, and he's never corrected them, because it would be pedantic to do so. But he's never been naive. For all that he gives away everything of himself to help other people, he's never claimed he could fix every problem in the world. He knows that life is hard, that suffering and pain are natural parts of it. And when it comes to himself--well. It's complicated. But knowing he can't fix everything doesn't mean he doesn't want to. It doesn't make it easier, helplessly watching the people he cares about suffer.]
Well... earlier this week, I had a dream. We were all decorating an ice cream shop, getting ready to welcome back everyone who'd been erased. And then they came through the door, and we were all together again. The way it was in the beginning. [...] When I woke up, I felt... I don't know. It felt like something that might really happen, soon.
But for the most part, adults--we didn't dream in Sumeru, for a long time. So I haven't been able to tell if it's important, or if it's just...
It's complicated, but yes. Rather... we mostly didn't. And it was kind of--shameful to talk about, if you did. It was seen as childish, dwelling on fantasy. Things have changed, but only recently.
That's stupid. It's just your brain processing information, that's not childish. Jeez.
... Anyway, it's a nice dream. So hopefully it was more of a premonition. I don't know, things like that can happen, especially somewhere weird like this.
[Tbh he feels the same way so he just nods in agreement with her. SOMETIMES YOUR GOVERNMENT IS CORRUPT but you're a side character so you don't get to pitch a fit about it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Week 6, Saturday
But here they are; he will come find her and bring her some... not hot chocolate because murder. Coffee.]
Alex?
no subject
[ she takes the coffee with a very tired smile. ]
Thanks.
no subject
[God do they need it.]
Are you alright? [Whatever that means, here.]
no subject
... Uh, bad. I mean, glad we figured something out and—as miserable as this is, it means the pragmatic option was also technically correct. But it still sucks. A lot.
no subject
Mm. [He sighs.] ...It would feel wrong not to find the answers. But it doesn't hurt any less when we do.
no subject
I guess it kind of goes without saying. Like, solving a murder is never gonna turn up an answer that makes you go, "Oh, thank God."
no subject
I guess so. [He runs a hand through his hair, stressed.] ...I never had to deal with this sort of thing before. I can't tell if it's better or worse, that it hasn't gotten any easier.
no subject
... Sometimes feels like I should be used to people dying by now. But it—it really doesn't get easier.
no subject
[Or--well. Something like it, for those among them who weren't. Creatures with hearts that can still be injured, no matter how many times they're broken.]
no subject
[ I don't want to stop being human. ]
no subject
[He thinks of Netzach, and how much sense his exhaustion makes after living his life. He thinks of Yuzuriha's memory, when she'd so calmly granted someone a merciful death. He thinks of Wolfwood and Vash and Livio, and the way that they've been taught that survival is a privilege.
Most people think Kaveh's an idealist, and he's never corrected them, because it would be pedantic to do so. But he's never been naive. For all that he gives away everything of himself to help other people, he's never claimed he could fix every problem in the world. He knows that life is hard, that suffering and pain are natural parts of it. And when it comes to himself--well. It's complicated. But knowing he can't fix everything doesn't mean he doesn't want to. It doesn't make it easier, helplessly watching the people he cares about suffer.]
Alex... how do you feel about dreams?
no subject
no subject
The dreams you see at night, I mean. Not ambitions.
no subject
But I'm also from a world without magic, so maybe things are different in other worlds.
no subject
Okay. I just wondered.
no subject
Like I said. Could be different for people from different worlds.
Why do you ask?
no subject
But for the most part, adults--we didn't dream in Sumeru, for a long time. So I haven't been able to tell if it's important, or if it's just...
[Y'know. Manifested depression after god died.]
no subject
no subject
It's complicated, but yes. Rather... we mostly didn't. And it was kind of--shameful to talk about, if you did. It was seen as childish, dwelling on fantasy. Things have changed, but only recently.
no subject
... Anyway, it's a nice dream. So hopefully it was more of a premonition. I don't know, things like that can happen, especially somewhere weird like this.
no subject
I hope so too. It's so hard to say in this place.
no subject
no subject
...Right. Okay. [I'll hold onto it.]
no subject
no subject
I'll buy as much ice cream as I can afford, then. And Shu will help too.
(no subject)