[Kaveh's quiet for a little while, at that, looking down at his cup. In truth, he does want to cry a little more--feels a little horrible that he's stopped, but. This numbness, too, is familiar in its own way.]
...I keep telling myself that I understand. [He says, after a while.] That I can't hold desperation against people. Even--even before we started hearing about those calls, I said that I couldn't fault anyone for wanting to live. People have so much to get back to.
But it's hard to remember that when it's... [People he cares about so deeply, getting hurt or killed, over and over. And what is he supposed to do if someone else he cares about did this? It feels inevitable that one day, the killer--or killers, apparently--won't be so far removed from him as Libby and D and Yang Guifei. He doesn't know how to handle that.]
I think ya can feel any way ya want to about it. [ livio will never forgive d for rin, and he will never, ever, stop being mad about it. even if d's entire world was at stake. it doesn't justify it in livio's eyes. ]
And I think it's gonna keep gettin' messier the longer things go on. [ so, yeah, there'll come a time where someone he likes does a moidah. ]
[Maybe Livio's right. Kaveh isn't immune to the strength of his bonds, after all. As much as he loves so many of the people here, he doesn't think he'd ever forgive someone who went after, like, Nahida. Buzen was bad enough--Shenhe is bad enough. Something like that would completely destroy him.
But Livio's right about the rest of it, too. Some days, Kaveh wishes that the people here were cruel, cunning, openly ruthless. It would make things so much easier in the end.]
I promised myself that if I was going to stay, I would do anything I could to find a way out of here. I can't accept the terms the way they are. [He hated the thought that there was no way he, Nahida, and Shenhe could all survive--and the same went for Vash, Wolfwood, and Livio, honestly.] But every time this happens, it feels a little more impossible.
[He isn't giving up--he'll cling to hope with his dying breath, if only because he promised Matsui that he would. On Monday, perhaps, he'll pick himself back up, and use this pain as fuel, just as he has all his life. But it's always so much harder to see the light ahead on the weekends.]
[ it's hard for livio, too. because everyone here is so soft, compared to what he's used to. and sometimes, the well-meaning soft people can be even crueler than the scumbags he's used to, even if they don't intend to be ]
[ there is some silence from livio, but frankly, he's already come to terms with the fact that he's likely not going to survive. ]
You should stay. And keep fightin'
[ it's what vash would do. fight against impossible odds. wolfwood, too. livio doesn't think he has that kind of strength, but he's going to keep holding on for as long as he can ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ohthehumanities) wrote2023-06-10 01:09 pm
no subject
[ hard to imagine someone tough enough to take her out. ]
Ya don't gotta be okay. At least, not right now.
[ if he's not ]
no subject
...I keep telling myself that I understand. [He says, after a while.] That I can't hold desperation against people. Even--even before we started hearing about those calls, I said that I couldn't fault anyone for wanting to live. People have so much to get back to.
But it's hard to remember that when it's... [People he cares about so deeply, getting hurt or killed, over and over. And what is he supposed to do if someone else he cares about did this? It feels inevitable that one day, the killer--or killers, apparently--won't be so far removed from him as Libby and D and Yang Guifei. He doesn't know how to handle that.]
no subject
And I think it's gonna keep gettin' messier the longer things go on. [ so, yeah, there'll come a time where someone he likes does a moidah. ]
no subject
But Livio's right about the rest of it, too. Some days, Kaveh wishes that the people here were cruel, cunning, openly ruthless. It would make things so much easier in the end.]
I promised myself that if I was going to stay, I would do anything I could to find a way out of here. I can't accept the terms the way they are. [He hated the thought that there was no way he, Nahida, and Shenhe could all survive--and the same went for Vash, Wolfwood, and Livio, honestly.] But every time this happens, it feels a little more impossible.
[He isn't giving up--he'll cling to hope with his dying breath, if only because he promised Matsui that he would. On Monday, perhaps, he'll pick himself back up, and use this pain as fuel, just as he has all his life. But it's always so much harder to see the light ahead on the weekends.]
no subject
[ there is some silence from livio, but frankly, he's already come to terms with the fact that he's likely not going to survive. ]
You should stay. And keep fightin'
[ it's what vash would do. fight against impossible odds. wolfwood, too. livio doesn't think he has that kind of strength, but he's going to keep holding on for as long as he can ]
[ but he can't offer more comfort than that. ]