ohthehumanities | catchall; rang lee

[LMFSKDJHGKSDGH STOP HELP ALL OF THIS IS SO MUCH WHY DID ROLLING A 11 END UP WITH HIM STUCK TO THE GROUND??? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU ROLLED A 2 I'M CRYING

Also Kaveh will just START HITTING WITH HIS OTHER HAND THEN though only a few more times before he stops, huffing.]

Do you think I'm stupid? You've been protective of your teammates from the start. You told us to give Matsui space yesterday, you got upset that I was angry with Buzen last week--if I'd really thought you killed Rin, you would've let me believe it, wouldn't you? None of that has anything to do with "self-preservation."

[It's just BEING NICE YOU STUPID FOX!!! He also just DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THIS WEIRD TERM RANG IS USING what the hell is a tsundere.

He sighs, then, some of his anger draining away. He'd just yelled at Rang to get up, but now he falls back too, staring at the sky.

Isn't it better to bite first, than get doted on and abandoned later?]

...You can't make us angry enough to not be upset when you're gone.

[STOP HITTING HIM WITH THESE TWINK HANDS!!!!!!]

You're all so annoying.

[with a bit of heat, because he thinks this is still a grievous overstatement of his character, that whatever kindness people saw in him was merely reflected from matsui and buzen and d,

if he were truly kind, then he would want to keep living for rest of them, wouldn't he?

but he's too afraid to. he's afraid that he'll be abandoned. he already has been -- and will keep being. every kindness in his life was made to hurt him. his mother, who left him in the forest. his brother, who told him he wished they hadn't been brothers at all. hae-ryong, who bound him to a contract he'll never get rid of. whoever cursed him to be helpful and empathetic, robbing him of his agency.]

Telling me that you're upset, when you'll forget about me eventually. I'm just trying to quicken the process for all of you.

[The worst part is, Kaveh doesn't know how to argue with him. He can swear that he won't, and he knows he would keep that promise to his dying breath, out of spite if nothing else. But Rang is a spirit. He's older than Nahida, and not that much younger than the swords, in the grand scheme of things. What is one mortal's memory in the face of centuries? Kaveh has no idea what kind of impact a human could leave on someone like Rang, if any at all.

But this, at least--this, Kaveh feels equipped to talk about. This is the core of how Kaveh lives his own life, after all.]

Then I'll build you something. [My pain will one day fade into nothing just as I reach the end of my life, but buildings are different.] Something that will last for centuries.

[He sits up, then, looking at Rang. For possibly the first time, there is a fire in his expression that isn't from fury or pain, even though those emotions are, as always, lingering.]

Maybe in the future, people won't remember your face or know your name. I can't promise you anything like that. But I know that as long as there are souls in the world, there will be people who can decipher the meaning behind this creation. And those people will acknowledge you every time they do.

[Rang is still lying on the ground when Kaveh gets up, so he has to tilt his head up to meet his gaze. He's not sure that he likes having to look up at the man, surely it's just the angle that's responsible for the surprised, discomfited feeling that's starting to radiate from him, and not because of his own words.

...He has no idea what to say. He feels confused, because if Kaveh had said something like 'I'll remember you' or 'I'll save you' or any other nebulous concept of feeling to Rang, then he would have believed it for a lie. Feelings are the least reliable thing in the world, and he won't ever catch himself relying on them again.

But this is different? It's concrete. It's a set of conditions, a deal proposed. It appeals to his nature as a fox, and maybe it appeals to his nature as a human too.

He pushes himself up by the elbows to look at Kaveh. For once, the look in his eyes neither needling or annoyed.]

...I think your offer relies on you winning the Game -- or do you think that anything you build here will really remain, after we're all gone?

[He won't trust offers of kindness, but he can consider deals that have some substance to them, a practicality that can be proven.]

[Honestly, it's a fair point. But Kaveh fires back--]

There's a chance it would. Do you think they built this entire place for us? [They did but Kaveh doesn't know he's in a mg. However, as a compromise--] But I'll ask. And if it doesn't...

[He pauses, and falters. He can't promise that his team will win. He's so, so torn, every single day--caught between wanting to protect Nahida, not wanting to die, and refusing to consider that his own life is worth the cost of everyone else's.]

If it doesn't, and I don't make it, then I'll pass that responsibility on before I go. I'll trust the people here, even if you won't.

[rang doesn't know much about kaveh -- if anything at all, but he remembers the few things he does know, which is why he takes a moment to just look at the other man, as if kaveh's thoughts are being conveyed from the emotional struggle he's apparently feeling,

then rang sits up properly, dusting his hands off.]

You're the architect. Why would I want a secondhand creation from someone who doesn't know what they're doing?

[he's sure that kaveh will pick someone he trusts. just like he's sure that if kaveh was the next to receive the call, he'd never try to get away with it.]

The only offer I'll accept is whatever you make with your own two hands.

[Well now Kaveh's just stupidly annoyed because this is like working with a demanding client]

Do you think I break ground and lay foundation all by myself? It would take decades to build anything if I worked like that! [HUFFS.] I am the architect, so shut up and take what I give you.

[(Eugene voice) I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG SHUT UP]

If it's not from you, then I don't want it.

[rang will be the worst client ever, even worse is that he's about to D*E so he feels like he's valid for being a karen in his final moments. he finally stands up, brushing the rest of his clothes off,]

So do your best to live, since unlike me -- you still have a chance.

catchall; rang lee

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thinks again about how gay kaveh is

we could've had it all and now we have nOTHING

ALSMFLSD STOP STOPPP

YOU DID THIS

ME??????