ohthehumanities | catchall; wolfwood

[Kaveh shakes his head, turning on his heel to start pacing in distress. I can't believe he's getting to experience the Sumeru archon quest in real time.]

So, what--some sort of god decided it's tired of people, and it's coming to wipe out your planet under the guise of sending aid?

Nah. The Earth ships are real.

Just that, for aid, they would've brought a ton of plants with 'em.

'Cept, Knives'd been spending plenty of time taking plants and absorbing them into himself.

[ So, you know. Let rescue come, but if only to make the situation infinitely worse. ]

[The return of That One Guy In Vash's Pictures

But... ah. He understands. He presses his fist to his mouth, still pacing.]

And there's no way to stop him? [Which is probably, like, a dumb question, but he has to know. He simply can't accept this as it is. He refuses to think about Wolfwood, Vash, and Livio being erased, but he can't stand the idea of them making it home only to end up inescapably doomed.]

[ ... ]

Blondie might.

Or I guess -- he said he did.

[That's what finally gets Kaveh to stop, and he closes his eyes tightly at the thought.

It should be encouraging; it's not like he thinks Vash is incapable, and he's fully aware that he knows so little about their world, about the three of them. But Vash's quiet tone rings in his ears--words that he would never have said of his own volition, sentiments that he'd asked Kaveh to forget, but that Kaveh knows, thanks to their similarities, are painfully true. He has no logical, evidence-based reason for the worry curling in his stomach; but it's a deep, instinctive reaction nonetheless.

But what exactly can he say? "Don't let him do whatever it is he's planning to do?" And what happens then? Kaveh has seen evidence of divinity all his life. He knows--from his studies, from basic common sense--that some things aren't so easy. And he's nothing but a mortal. Not even a particularly heroic one, no matter how he tries to help everyone he possibly can. It's something Alhaitham berates him for all the time: his dedication to fighting fate through one small kind act at a time.

But Alhaitham isn't here. And even if he was, it's too late: Kaveh cares too much.

He opens his eyes and turns to Wolfwood.]

How much have you talked to Nahida?

...?

[ He's not surprised that Kaveh would bring up Nahida in a talk about greater forces, but he still doesn't know where this is leading. ]

On and off, sure. Why?

[Normally he wouldn't delve too deeply into this, but. In this case, he thinks Nahida will understand.]

Do you remember what I told you, about the Sages being overthrown? How Nahida wasn't always in power? [...] Well, it turns out that the Sages were attempting to build themselves their own god. [A pause, then he amends--] I guess I should say they did build their own god. Technically, they succeeded.

Well, she didn't tell me about that. Can't blame her though.

So, what happened with it then?

With the Traveler's help, she was able to defeat him.

[In an unplanned yet extremely convenient turn of events, he even got to see it! Which is why he can explain this at all! Wow. Maybe this week has a single saving grace after all.

But, backtracking a little--]

She could explain all of this better than I can, I'm sure. But to put things simply--the words "god" and "archon" have become somewhat interchangeable in the current age, but they are not, technically, the same thing. I'm sure there are plenty of complicated details, but essentially, the Seven are archons because they have gnoses.

[He waves a hand, partially dismissive. It's context, but it's not the point.]

With the help of the Traveler, Nahida defeated the false god by recapturing the gnosis that was used to create him. She did so using the power of dreams--the cycle of samsara. At least in part. I'd have to speak with her to get the full picture.

[He had nothing to do with any of this, after all. Even hearing about it from people he trusted, people who were directly involved, he's not sure he fully believed it until he saw it with his own eyes from her memories.]

I know she doesn't have access to her divinity here. And your situation is very different, obviously. But I think if there's anyone who could find a way to make a difference, it would be her.

[

]

Ain't that what the space kid from TBD deals with?

[ THE GNOSIA CANON ]

[WHY IS THIS THE FUNNIEST RESPONSE]

I--what? [HE BARELY KNOWS SETSU]

They're havin' trouble dealing with this creepy alien force called the Gnosia.

Sounds like they could use a hand from your sprout goddess.

[ LIKE. HE APPRECIATES THE IDEA BUT 1. he's not convinced Nahida can help them from a guy who is literally named MILLION KNIVES and 2. what Kaveh just mentioned sounds like it would be WAY more helpful with Setsu's case than his??? ]

Oh--um, I don't know. I'll ask her if she knows about it?

[He thinks Nahida would probably be willing to help anyone she could, because they are very similar in both the best and worst ways

BUT ALSO, LISTEN!!! if she can deal with SHOUKI NO KAMI EVERLASTING LORD OF ARCANE WISDOM she can handle some punk named after baby swords]

[ He may be just called Million Knives but he's basically a Category 5 Seraphic Rapture Incident so you know, YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME. ]

Yeah, probably.

But it's also just assumin' you can just come to our planet to begin with. It took a hundred years to finally get contact with Earth, and it's been almost a year since.

Planet's not gonna last that much longer.

[Maybe he just needs a college education

But--Kaveh falters for a moment, pushed slightly off-kilter, nudged back toward grim reality. But then his hands curl into fists at his sides, and he shakes his head before he looks Wolfwood in the eye.]

Even if that's true--if there's even the slightest possibility that we can do something to make a difference, I want to make sure you have it. [He so rarely has a chance to show his confidence in this place--even now, it's really more like determination born from a spiteful rejection of fate. Something like a righteous fury burns in his eyes, as though if he had the chance, he would march out tomorrow and intervene by himself. Perhaps there is a reason his team is constantly babysitting him actually,,,] The God of Wisdom and the Light of Kshahrewar are at your disposal, and we certainly aren't going to stand idly by when the people we care about are in danger.

[He's really just here assigning Nahida as a fellow Trigun apologist]

[ This is why he hates dealing with idealists... all of you think you can do everything all of the time, no matter how insane or how impossible. They all go you won't know if you don't try! and it tires him the hell out.

Having something like hope was something he abandoned a long, long time ago. It's painful to have it be dangled in front of his face, a theory that can't be proven. ]

Your sprout goddess hasn't even agreed to do this. Why risk your life for a completely different planet and world when you've got your own to take care of?

Because I care about you.

[He says it with less awkwardness than might be expected, given how he tends to get--given how he's been in this place, especially, considering all of the curses and effects he's had to deal with. But it's an easy thing for him to say because there's nothing else behind it. No push for reciprocity, no burden of expectations. Kaveh will give his heart to anyone who extends a friendly hand in his direction, even though he never stops being shocked when, weeks--months--even years later, he learns that he was viewed with even the slightest bit of fondness.

But none of that is on his mind right now anyway.]

Nahida has no reason to say no. She's much more kind than I am. [Kaveh truly believes, even now, that he is nothing special. That people have a responsibility to help each other. This is personal, yes, and even selfish in a way--but it's not because he's a uniquely good person. He only sets himself apart when it comes to his skill and hard work, not his desire to help people.] Without her power, she may not be able to do anything--and you're right, any ideas we come up with may prove useless in the end. But if I don't even try, then--what's the point of it all?

[...

His shoulders slump the slightest bit, then, and his tone softens.]

Wolfwood--there's a very real possibility I'm not going to make it out of this place. I know that. I'm not the sort of person who can win this kind of game. [...] As long as Nahida makes it back to Teyvat, that will be enough. But I want you three to make it home. And I want that home to be safe. [He has a lot of thoughts and feelings about the idea of "home" to begin with, but he's not going to get into that right now.] If I can do anything at all to make that happen--then I think I could at least be content with whatever end may come here.

[This is such a serious tag and I'm wiping away tears of laughter over the fucking rat chat]

[ RAT! RAT! RAT! ]

I haven't done a single thing for you to feel that way.

[ Unfortunately, Wolfwood ever the pessimist, doesn't actually realise when people care about him. It's one of his bigger flaws -- he's disposable, as is every other human on his planet in the end.

He goes quiet at this admission from Kaveh though. Bitch are you dying this week? Don't... we need our sweet little morale twink... ]

The least you can do is talk like you'll try to survive.

[(aki voice) BOOTS RAT TEETH MAN HAND CAR DOOR

At this point death would be a mercy for him and also me

But Kaveh looks a little annoyed, just for a moment before he pushes it away.]

You don't have to have done anything. Putting everything else aside--no one should need to earn the right to survive. [Nor to be safe and content, he thinks--but he knows enough about their world by now to know that that would sound different from the way he'd intend it.]

But consider it a selfish wish, if you must. [Because he does get it, even if he's rejecting it from Wolfwood, like an annoying hypocrite.] I don't want you to die--can't that be enough?

[As for the rest of it, he just... sighs.]

I'm not saying I'm going to go out and get myself erased tomorrow. There are still things I need to do. And I promised Matsui that I would keep trying, for Buzen's sake. I do still want to find another way. But I'm not going to waste these next few weeks pretending I'm capable of something that I'm not.

[He still doesn't know what he's going to do if he ever gets that fateful call. Even with Nahida to worry about, even with the stakes being what they are--Kaveh is deeply unsure he has it in him to harm anyone here beyond an act of self-defense. And maybe that's a sign that he doesn't want to live badly enough, that he doesn't deserve to be here--but, well. If that's the case, it's not like it would be news to him.]

Too bad that ain't how it works on my planet, then.

[ He doesn't sound particularly bitter about this, but -- it's true that it's basically how a lot of life goes. Not everyone is like that. People in the Numbered Cities might live lives that are very normal.

Not him, though, street dog that he is and always has been. Survival is something he fights tooth and claw for and it's most of what he's ever known.

Survival in this game is also just a wish. Being the toughest person doesn't matter, his body reduced to something no more significant than the next person, and if someone like Shenhe can lose... ]

Fine, but hope for your team's sake that something changes.

[Kaveh does not point out that nothing is going to work on Wolfwood's planet if something doesn't change, mostly because he is not nearly that mean but partly because Wolfwood obviously already knows that.]

I can't eliminate hardship and suffering. If I could do that, Sumeru would be a very different place. [Even Nahida can't do that. And in truth, Kaveh does believe that part of life is enduring pain.] I'm not trying to be some kind of otherworldly hero. But I can't just stand aside.

[And maybe it's arrogant, maybe it's delusional. Maybe all he's doing is making a bad situation worse. But--

Trust me. I know cruel people.

I think a lot of people would leave if it meant they could get a better life. But it's still also our home.

I'm a monster, so it makes sense. I was born one.

--it would take a stronger man than Kaveh to do nothing when they tell him things like that.]

I don't know if you remember, but--I told you once, something Alhaitham said. That no matter how strong of a swimmer someone is, they'll run out of stamina and get dragged under by others sooner or later. He's the sort of person who'd stand on the shore as someone drowns and say he's just respecting their fate.

[He remembers Wolfwood's response, too--and more importantly, what he'd said he had to protect, shortly after.

He shakes his head.]

I'm not saying I can drag you all back to shore. But at least let me hold out my hand for you. Please.

[At least let him try.]

[ He huffs, a low noise of something like irritation if only for Kaveh's idealism. It's familiar still, but it's also something a bit more manageable and more acceptable than Vash's.

If Kaveh would reach out a hand to help someone out on shore, Vash would throw himself into the waves to justify that he hopes he'd drown instead, at the caveat that the person would be saved -- but would accept it if they both lived. It frustrates him to no end, but at least Kaveh knows his boundaries with strangers enough that he can set a clear and at least somewhat reasonable line.

In his allegory, anyway. Wolfwood still thinks suggesting intergalactic or interdimensional travel to save another person's planet after knowing them for one month is kind of batshit, but that's beside the point. ]

Fine, but if we both start sinking, you're gonna have to swim back to land yourself.

[ And make no mistake that if Wolfwood's version of events are indeed separate from Vash's, then Kaveh is heading into a hellish whirlpool. ]

[Listen Kaveh was thinking more along the lines of inventing some kind of device that Wolfwood and the others could take back with them since he thinks he's gonna die here, okay, Wolfwood is the one who decided that Kaveh invited himself to the knife party.

But Kaveh looks genuinely relieved to hear it.]

I'll accept that. Thank you. [For once, he won't apologize.]

[The real win here is that Kaveh didn't have to talk about his own memory because his feelings and problems are so tiny compared to all of this and it would be so embarrassing to act like they're not.]

[ He doesn't know what kind of invention would make Knives calm down except the box that contained Gojou for 3 years.

But he just scoffs, glancing away. ]

Dumbass who thinks it's appropriate to thank somebody for letting them take care of my problems.

[Maybe that's what he'll make then!!! You don't know!!!! Except actually he's going to have to revisit this for (static noises) reasons but he doesn't know that yet.

For now he just huffs like a tsuntsun]

That's not why I'm thanking you!

catchall; wolfwood

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