ohthehumanities | catchall; wolfwood

[OKAY LISTEN]

Sorry, it's a reflex... [Sometimes you just lash out]

Are we calm now?

Are we good?

No more urges to suddenly lash out?

[

he can't answer this honestly because the kabedon urge is still there]

[ Honestly just watching him to see how he handles it at this point.

YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE. ]

[they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine but you just can't get into it because they would never understand]

[I spent way too fucking long on that

Anyway through gritted teeth and with extreme reluctance because the Milkshake Curse is too strong but it's like 2% less mortifying if there's a fraction of free will involved:]

Fine.

[ Send him help.

Okay, he just puts a hand on his hip (because the other one is always occupied by cross), and looks at him expectantly.

They really breached a cr barrier straight into stupid with this thread. ]

[WOLFWOOD DID THIS. (I did this)

Anyway the overpowering emotion here is

but he will just. Gently kabedon for real this time. It is no less stupid because there's still 10 centimeters between them but maybe this time he won't eat shit.]

What is this supposed to be, anyway?

I don't know. Trying to establish dominance?

[ His tone suggests that he thinks it probably does the opposite. ]

Trying to hit on someone?

[Kaveh make an unimpressed face.]

This is a terrible way to do either of those things. Especially the second one.

[ Pats his arm in consolation.

There there. ]

Feeling better now?

[No, now he's offended at the inventor of the kabe-don.

But yes he pulls back with a sigh. The embarrassment is still there, along with some sulky irritation because THIS IS STUPID WHY IS FOOD CURSED!!! but it's mellowing out, with the rest of those negative emotions lingering like an ever-present fog. He moves far enough away that it hopefully not overpowering, though.]

Let's hope so. [Pls. He can't keep doing this. (He will keep doing this for several hours it's very funny. 10/10 best purchase made all game.)] Come on, let's get you that haircut.

...

Gonna be honest, completely forgot about that. I kind of don't want you to be cornering me with a pair of scissors.

[NOOOOOO DON'T ROB HIM OF HIS CHANCE... his terrible luck* did this...

(*bad personal decisions)]

It'll be fine, I promise! I'll put up a barrier if anything starts to feel off.

[ Virgin... ]

Are you actually any good at cutting hair...?

[ HE IS SO MUCH MORE UNCERTAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING NOW HELP. ]

[With his tits out like this??? fat chance

ALSO NOW HE'S OFFENDED and here they started off with such nice compliments... tch]

I'm perfectly adequate, thank you very much. I had to cut my own for a long time, if you must know.

[Sometimes your life falls to pieces and you can't afford haircuts, but you also can't afford to not look presentable either :)]

[ This really comes off like you're just being like 'Kaveh WILL believe in fuck this week and you can't stop me'. ]

Fine, but the moment I start feeling threatened, I'm out.

[LMFKSJHKGH listen I'm not the one who put ass shots in his character demo okay I'm just the messenger

But also the vibes shift back to "hehe ^_^" because he's stupid and easily mollified.]

Relax, I'm not Rang.

[In they go!! At least Kaveh won't try to drag him in again, he just leads the way. With no incidents this time, I will spare Wolfwood from further kabedon stupidity maybe.]

[ I believe in him and (looks at ship chart) Kavehshu, apparently. Shuveh? K... Kashuu... ]

That was not even remotely part of my concerns, but now I feel like it should be.

[ But sure, he'll follow. If Kaveh fucks him up he can just charge what's left in his e-wallet as compensation. ]

[Yeah they can have a double wedding at the Jonasseum with Wolfrard. It will be beautiful. Pastor Blahaj will officiate.

Kaveh just waves off his concern, dismissive. However, despite all of this nonsense, his negativity fades once they're inside--not gone, never gone, but very much replaced by a sense of focus, along with a gentle, respectful sort of caution.]

Is it alright if I wash it?

[ There's a buzz of uncertainty here, but if it weren't for emotionshare, it would be imperceptible as anything other than a moment of thought. ]

...Sure.

Alright. Tell me if you want me to stop.

[For all his wheedling, mostly driven by restless boredom (and a genuine desire to take full advantage of the resources they have), he has no intention of crossing real lines or boundaries. Still, he trusts Wolfwood to be honest, more or less--regardless of whatever blips he may pick up, he'll abide by what Wolfwood tells him.

He is, of course, not used to a modern salon, but he's already poked around, so it only takes him a minute to get his bearings and wave Wolfwood over to one of the sinks. He directs Mehrak over to a corner, where it floats obediently and settles on the floor with a '_' face. Once that's done, he snags a bottle of shampoo and conditioner, along with a towel.]

The water's going to be lukewarm, sorry. I'll be quick. [With that, as long as there's no resistance, he'll reach out to touch--first a light hand on Wolfwood's shoulder, just to let him know it's coming, then up to his head to guide it back and get started. His hands are nimble and sure, like he's done something similar to this before.]

Just don't chop off the whole thing, and we're fine.

[ Fortunately he's not that stubborn, and pliant enough to follow instructions since they've already got this agreement sorted out. He's not particularly tense at any individual touch, but the faint aura of uncertainty still follows, maybe tinted with a taste of melancholy and nostalgia besides. There's still also the edge of some amount of alertness, just in case Kaveh's milkshake decides to make a return, but it's kind of like a background hum.

As per usual, he doesn't really say anything though. After a moment, it'll turn into little blips of curiosity and something like an assessment, but not bad. Expression wise he is neutral with his eyes closed as he lets Kaveh wash his hair. ]

[DONT JUST MAKE BUTTERFLY MEMES AT 2AMLFMFNDJJFJF GO TO BED]

As long as you're nice, I'll quell the urge. [But it's lighthearted, with a pulse of amusement.

Anyway then he stabs Wolfwood with the knife he's been hiding the whole time--no just kidding. True to his word, he stays focused; he's thorough, but doesn't linger unnecessarily. Wolfwood's hair is much shorter than his own, so it doesn't take long. Once he's done, he snags the towel and, after a cursory sweep, hands it to him.]

Just a second, I'll grab the scissors. [He is not a professional stylist so they'll just do the cutting part in the sink chair too because why not. He will, at least, spot the protective cloak things that are hanging up as he goes to get some scissors, though, so that's a bonus.]

[ I DIDN'T MAKE IT I FOUND IT ON THE INTERNET CHARLES BOYLE IS AN ICON

Also yeah kill him off-schedule for being too heterosexual during pride month.

Double-also, cool. He'll sit up and towel his hair, not waiting for blow-drying. He normally doesn't bother with hair care so it's so soft now?? Wow. There's vague curiosity and impressed-ness as he's just carding fingers through his freshly salon-washed hair. ]

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