[ he hasn't wanted to stray from his warehouse. understandably, given what's happened, but he is outside with a cigarette and he gives kaveh a little nod of greeting. ]
...how're you feeling since yesterday? [ he says, as if three people aren't dead. ]
A little better. [THREE PEOPLE ARE DEAD AND ONE OF THEM IS JONAS'S TEAMMATE... but. The trauma of Fridays isn't quite the same when your CYOA involved so many fucking death loops.] What about you?
[ wish that were him. sometimes your cyoa makes you go through 150 years of existence with a lot of death involved and you're still kind of sensitive to it. ]
A little worse. But that's standard by now, I guess.
[ stop i got this same meta from cola and i hate it. your buttons!!
anyway. yeah. mood. ]
I should be polite and say "it's okay" because other people lost teammates, too. But I'm...it's hard to really think about it without remembering we lost Setsu. [ they made it so far and they got so attached that losing one of them is about the equivalent of ripping off a limb, actually. ]
It's not okay. [He knows what Jonas means, but--he'll say it.] Nothing about this place is okay.
[And he knows that, yes, they could've taken themselves out, could've made it easier for everyone--but that's a cruel ultimatum. He still believes that.]
Nothing about this place is okay. [ it's incredibly quiet, and a little hint of the stress this place has placed on him and the others. ] I never thought I'd have to have so many conversations with my friends about who would die first, but...that's reality now. I can't change that no matter how much I try.
[ surprisingly (?) he does! he does allow this. jonas is a normal teenager at the end of the day despite keeping everybody at a distance. he also returns said-hug because it's just hard on everybody. ]
You ever think that's exactly why? Just another way to test our grit and resolve. See how far we'll go for the people we care about.
[He's still injured, so it hurts a little, but he doesn't care. This is more important.]
It's not even that I don't understand the foundational concept--the idea of proving that you want to survive. I just--[He sighs, angry.]--the way that we're pitted against each other, the way they call it a game... none of that needs to happen.
[ SWEET KAVEH...jonas is at least being careful. ]
That's what bothers me, too. It really is just a game of deciding whose life is more valuable than somebody else's. I talked about this with someone else, too, early on. How this game is meant to make people think about how they should be grateful for their life. But then I think about how most of us didn't ask to die or want to die anyway.
[ so the lesson feels like a moot point. ]
In a way it almost feels worse to be given the false hope that you could win when that might not happen either.
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ohthehumanities) wrote2023-06-16 10:38 pm
w5 friday
...how're you feeling since yesterday? [ he says, as if three people aren't dead. ]
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A little better. [THREE PEOPLE ARE DEAD AND ONE OF THEM IS JONAS'S TEAMMATE... but. The trauma of Fridays isn't quite the same when your CYOA involved so many fucking death loops.] What about you?
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A little worse. But that's standard by now, I guess.
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I don't blame you. I'm sorry, Jonas.
[They made it so far. He was really starting to hope they'd be okay, even though he knew it was naive.]
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anyway. yeah. mood. ]
I should be polite and say "it's okay" because other people lost teammates, too. But I'm...it's hard to really think about it without remembering we lost Setsu. [ they made it so far and they got so attached that losing one of them is about the equivalent of ripping off a limb, actually. ]
...but it was bound to happen. We all knew it.
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It's not okay. [He knows what Jonas means, but--he'll say it.] Nothing about this place is okay.
[And he knows that, yes, they could've taken themselves out, could've made it easier for everyone--but that's a cruel ultimatum. He still believes that.]
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Nothing about this place is okay. [ it's incredibly quiet, and a little hint of the stress this place has placed on him and the others. ] I never thought I'd have to have so many conversations with my friends about who would die first, but...that's reality now. I can't change that no matter how much I try.
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Sometimes I wonder why they made us form teams. [Quietly.] It feels like just another way to hurt us.
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You ever think that's exactly why? Just another way to test our grit and resolve. See how far we'll go for the people we care about.
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It's not even that I don't understand the foundational concept--the idea of proving that you want to survive. I just--[He sighs, angry.]--the way that we're pitted against each other, the way they call it a game... none of that needs to happen.
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That's what bothers me, too. It really is just a game of deciding whose life is more valuable than somebody else's. I talked about this with someone else, too, early on. How this game is meant to make people think about how they should be grateful for their life. But then I think about how most of us didn't ask to die or want to die anyway.
[ so the lesson feels like a moot point. ]
In a way it almost feels worse to be given the false hope that you could win when that might not happen either.