Kaveh (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ohthehumanities) wrote2023-06-10 01:00 pm
ohthehumanities) wrote2023-06-10 01:00 pm
catchall; wolfwood
I don't know trigun help
I don't know trigun help
I don't know trigun help
I don't know trigun help
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He's quiet for a moment, and then jerkily shakes his head. ]
I need it. Right now.
[ Pain doesn't often last long with him, because -- you know what, pigs him. Around when he says this, they can hear a little oinky and Kaveh can have this mem.
This also comes with the like, additional flavourtext that ever since all of this, across the years, bullets really don't hurt much anymore. He can take ten to the chest with nary a flinch, the wounds trying to close up and push the bullets out on their own. And that's without the usage of any strange blue vials, which -- if Kaveh has ever seen Livio or Wolfwood use healing aura, they've always taken the form of small glass vials with a strange, clear, blue liquid in them. ]
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But look--okay, here's the thing. Kaveh is a glutton for self-punishment, a little bit of a masochist. So he understands, in a way. For all that he's pushing out of worry, he isn't the sort of person to take away the comfort of pain if someone truly needs it, because he knows what it's like to lean on that. So even though he wouldn't have been happy about it, would probably have tried to wrangle a promise of getting healed before they all get knocked out, he ultimately would've backed down simply from his words. But god forbid (hah) they keep anything personal for themselves, right? There's no way to dodge the pig or block the memory, and it hits him like--well, like one of those roller coaster cars.
It's not as though Kaveh didn't know he lived a privileged life before he came here. Despite it all, he knew, even back in Sumeru, that his problems were very personal things. But this week has truly cemented, to him, just how small his problems have always been. He felt that way anyway, but then he saw memories from Fei Du, Ylfa, Vash, and now Wolfwood, and they've all been through the kinds of things he could never have imagined. If it were any earlier in the week, he'd probably be gasping for breath, maybe a little ill; now, even though it's no less traumatizing, he's mostly just... sad and kind of angry on Wolfwood's behalf.
He knows that reality is unkind. His idealism is forged from suffering, not naivety. But he can't help the way his heart aches with every gruesome reminder.]
...Okay. [He says softly. A beat too slow to pretend he hadn't seen anything, even though they would've both known it was a lie anyway.] But at least let me stay a little longer.
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Pain is the only thing that makes him feel remotely human, sometimes, like he isn't a monster. His eyes are focused and a little bit too bright, sharp like a hawk for every minute movement of Kaveh's. ]
There ain't nothing to talk about.
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He doesn't seem to mind being watched so closely, though. As far as what Wolfwood might see--well, Kaveh is a fighter, sure, but not in the same way as someone made for it (literally or otherwise). On a normal day, he carries himself with a kind of affected confidence, and a little grace; right now, he's kind of uncomfortably tense, but not in the same way as, like, someone about to make a sudden movement. He's got his thumbnails pressed against the sides of his index fingers, but he doesn't look like he's going to try and get any closer. Even though Wolfwood very badly needs a hug, Kaveh is tragically not Yams, who would throw himself at Estinien with zero hesitation.]
That's fine. I'll be quiet.
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Yams! Is! His sword son! Estinien isn't nearly as bad as Wolfwood though. Like. Literally, that asshole was just an asshole to be one sometimes. If I had played him from Heavensward he'd be awful but Endwalker Estinien really is just a guy sometimes.
He honestly doesn't entirely quit watching Kaveh like an alert animal, but he doesn't make a move either. He won't say anything other than light up yet another cigarette (he is fuckin' Going Through Them right now), and if Kaveh wants to stick around for that for some reason, that's his choice. ]
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LISTEN yams loved Esti-san and so do I okay... OUR CLOWN FAMILY. And unfortunately for Wolfwood he passed the point of no return when it comes to being Kaveh's favorite sort of person so now he just has to deal with this. "This" being, in this case, company; and indeed, Kaveh will just sit down right on the ground, cross-legged, and pull out his phone to type away on, though he does occasionally glance up to see how Wolfwood's doing. Unless Wolfwood shoots him for reaching into his pocket I guess that's fine too. Wolfwood can do a murder, as a treat.]
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No, it seems apparently fine. He's closing his eyes and just smoking away. His addiction brings him peace. It can be a mutual respectful silence.
Surely at some point Livio is gonna find him though and they're gonna fuck off to curfew. ]
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That's okay though, especially if it's Livio. Kaveh just doesn't want Wolfwood to be totally alone right now, more than anything. But he's very much used to quietly sharing space with another person, and he certainly isn't going to cry on Wolfwood (or worse, interrogate him) about his tragic past. He's not selfish enough to ask the burning questions, and pointing out the injustices of it all will do no good now.
But I also don't trust that you're not dead so at some point before they part ways, they can get pig'd again, and Wolfwood can have this memory.]
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Honestly, Wolfwood would rather that Kaveh doesn't make assumptions, even if it means answering this or that. Normally, anyway. His mood isn't so great right now though so the real kindness is that he doesn't immediately lash out at such a private core part of him being exposed like that, and the silence is probably for the better.
He has nothing to say to Kaveh for his memory... for the current time being... I'm sorry this is such a non-engaging tag externally, but he will remember this probably. ]
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But it's fine. He cringes a little, instinctively; it's hard not to, even though at this point in the week the shame is more like "damn these pigs really out here acting like my past is as bad as everyone else's." If Wolfwood doesn't comment, he certainly won't, though he does kind of brace himself for it until it's clear that Wolfwood plans on staying quiet.
Otherwise, though, he really does seem fine with the silence for now. Though before they part ways for curfew, he will at least get back to his feet and say, firmly--]
I'll come find you tomorrow.
[So be safe goes unsaid.]
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A couple of scratches ain't gonna make me go down without a fight.
[ Being a made monster and all, now that Kaveh's seen it. He's damn hard to kill, and these injuries -- to be perfectly honest, they're basically papercuts to him.
So.
Don't worry about him, worry about yourself. ]
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[Insincere grumbling.]
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