inbox; duocaeli

[ohthehumanities]

DUONET ID: Artchitect

"You've reached Kaveh! Leave a message and I'll call you back in a--HEY, DON'T TOUCH THAT I JUST GOT IT IN THE RIGHT SP--"

✉️ ☎️ 📷

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HELPLMFDKSHGKG

[ohthehumanities]

[Kaveh's done a lot of things on account of his inability to say no to people who need help, but this has got to be one of the weirdest gigs he's ever gotten roped into. It's not like he can't defend himself, but what's he gonna do, swing a claymore at a bunch of fangirls???

So he's just been kind of. Standing awkwardly next to Dokja. And attempting to look like he knows what he's doing. He is, in fact, focusing so hard on looking like he belongs here that he jumps when Dokja talks to him, gaze darting between the fans and his companion.]

What? Why? What did I do? [WHY DOES HE SEEM SO GENUINELY PARANOID]

[salvageable]

[ WHY INDEED? Dokja's startled by the reaction because isn't it obvious??

God, it's so annoying when good-looking people don't know that they're good-looking. Here Dokja is, average as can be, trying to fend off a bunch of fans, and now he has to explain why people obsessed with actors are now shifting focus to poor Kaveh.

He needs to be paid more. ]

I think they just like the way you look.

[ohthehumanities]

[Dokja... do you need someone to tell you you're pretty

Unfortunately for Dokja's mood and poor paycheck, Kaveh does, in fact, seem genuinely startled for a moment--but at least he's not totally oblivious. Dokja's answer sinks in, and his expression shifts to embarrassment, but. Well. He dresses like this on purpose, after all; he is projecting the image of a put-together, successful person, so. He brought this on himself, he really doesn't deserve to be so startled by this outcome.]

Oh. [Well. Ahem.] Uh... well, it means they'll probably behave, right...?

[salvageable]

[ He'd just think you're making fun of him if you did.

But ah, what an optimistic approach! As if jinxing the situation with those very words, the crowd of fans starts to slowly converge toward where Kaveh and Dokja both stand, more eyes than any human should be comfortable with being directed to the flustered man. And then click goes a camera, and then another, and soon there's a barrage of flashes aimed their way.

Dokja takes a step back, and extends an arm to his companion to suggest he do the same. ]

This is starting to become dangerous...

[ohthehumanities]

[DOKJA NO

AND NO x2!!!! NOT HIS BAD LUCK DOING THIS TO THEM. Kaveh doesn't hesitate to follow his suggestion, backing up a few steps. He does it slowly, though, because he gets the feeling that if he scrambles backward, they'll pounce... like rishboland tigers going after weasels... ]

This was not in our employment agreement. [SURELY THEY CAN JUST LEAVE? But then he'd feel guilty for not seeing it through... especially if something happens to the actual people they're supposed to be guarding... WHAT DO THEY DO, DOKJA]

[salvageable]

[ Kaveh... you kind-hearted soul... Had Dokja been alone (in which case something like this would have not happened), he would have booked it out of there without a second thought. But money's tight and Kaveh's tolerable, so he's not looking to miss out on a payment.

Or watch his blonde-haired pal get eaten alive. ]

Well, maybe we should get you away from here for a bit. Let the crowd cool off.

[ It's an optimistic suggestion. One that becomes useless as soon as the first metal barrier falls to the ground with a loud bang! ]

On second thought, [ Dokja says as he grabs Kaveh's wrist and starts pulling ] we run.

[ohthehumanities]

[This situation has spiraled so rapidly out of his control which is NOT EVEN UNCOMMON IN HIS LIFE and yet once again he's here going ????WHY THIS, WHY ME???? Kaveh just wants to design palaces and tinker with robots, is that too much to ask out of life!! Is it!!!]

I-- [Well he's not resisting, so if Dokja takes off running he'll be able to successfully yoink Kaveh away tbh] But what about the actors?! [WHO CARES ABOUT THAT, KAVEH.]

[salvageable]

[ THEY ARE RUNNING NOW!! ]

You should have thought about that before...!

[ Before what, Dokja? Kaveh showing up with his face? It seems like such an absurd thing to say that he opts not to. Instead, he strains his ears to hear if they're being followed, and while he can make out the start of footsteps headed their way, they at least seem hesitant and unsure if trespassing onto a film set is the best idea.

So once they round a corner and disappear from the general public's view, Dokja releases Kaveh with a wheeze. ]

[ohthehumanities]

[Whatever Kaveh might've said in response to that is lost in a yelp as Dokja drags him off, and then further lost because Kaveh is probably wheezing even more than Dokja is by the time they stop. He sags against the wall as he catches his breath, too paranoid to peek around the corner. Maybe this group has a collective lack of object permanence and they'll forget what they were doing if he and Dokja stay out of sight...]

This is ridiculous. [He whispers it, because even if he feels the need to express this sentiment out loud, it doesn't mean he wants them to get caught.] Are they gone?