inbox; duocaeli

[ohthehumanities]

DUONET ID: Artchitect

"You've reached Kaveh! Leave a message and I'll call you back in a--HEY, DON'T TOUCH THAT I JUST GOT IT IN THE RIGHT SP--"

✉️ ☎️ 📷

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[ohthehumanities]

[SWEET ROLAND!!! Kaveh puts his tablet down, looking over his various materials for anything that seems out of place.]

It must be around here somewhere, then--I'll help you look for it.

[Which is a kind gesture, except hunting it down is not the hard part, here.

From the closest room, just around the corner, comes an ominous... not a chirp, not a squawk, but some bizarre gurgling squeaky noise that makes Kaveh stop dead and tip his head back with a quiet groan.]

Oh, no.

[duskspear]

[Kaveh is kind, dropping something important to him for a mere shoe. Roland is about to nod his thanks when he hears the bizarre trill. Baffled, he cranes his neck toward the corner from which the sounds are emanating, because they most certainly weren't happening earlier.]

What in the . . .

[ohthehumanities]

[Kaveh pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, looking preemptively exhausted. It only takes that long for the Feathered Monster emerge to wander into the room, and low and behold, Roland's shoe is in its beak. WHY.

The bird makes a sound that is so close to an evil cackle it could be featured in a horror film. Kaveh marches over to the bird, which does the bird equivalent of puffing up, flapping its wings at him.]

I already bought you toys! I'm in the middle of building your house! Couldn't you be patient for five minutes?

[duskspear]

[There's his shoe.

That's one puzzle solved and another opened. Toys? House? Roland wanders over to peer around Kaveh at the puffed up bird.]

Is this bird yours, Kaveh?

[It seems like a handful.]

[ohthehumanities]

[The question makes him laugh, but it's humorless. The bird transfers the shoe to its talon, presumably so it can screech with even more vigor.]

Hah, "mine" is a generous way of putting it. It belonged to my other self--the one from this world. It can't stand me, though. [Clearly.] Or anyone, as far as I can tell. It bites just about everyone.

[duskspear]

[He stares at the bird. Has the memory yet to trickle in, or did his other self never meet other Kaveh's pet?

Either way, he crouches down to get a better look without getting too close. It's oddly attached to his shoe, isn't it. He does, however, cast a glance at Kaveh at the last factoid.]

Has it bitten you?

[ohthehumanities]

[The bird stares at Roland evilly.]

Only about a thousand times! You know who it doesn't bite? Alhaitham. How is that fair? He doesn't care about animals at all! What kind of terrible taste does this foul little creature have?

[The bird, of course, can't understand this, but it squawks and bobs its head like it's offended anyway.]

[duskspear]

[(bird voice) that's my sigma male you omega binch

At the mention of Alhaitham, Roland's eyes flit back up to Kaveh—stopping midway to glance at Kaveh's hands for signs of biting—after taking in the bird's shockingly evil stare.]

He has an equanimous air about him. Perhaps the bird is attracted to that calm disposition of his.

[ohthehumanities]

[I HATE THIS

Kaveh's hands look more-or-less okay; there's a couple of bandages here and there, but it's hard to tell if that's from the bird or just hazards of architecture. He doesn't seem too bothered by them, at least, since he waves his hands in the air as he talks, not unlike the very pet he was just trying to wrangle...]

Hah! You're only saying that because you don't know him like I do. He's smart, I'll give him that, but his personality is terrible. He's horribly judgmental, he refuses to make small talk, he--

[stop him before he keeps going for the next fifteen minutes]

[duskspear]

[Obviously the two of them have some sort of history. (That seems to be the case for many. Him, though . . . ) Roland's limited exposure to Alhaitham has left by and large a positive impression, but now doesn't strike him as the time to put that forth. After all, they've a squawking guest. So he cuts in as soon as Kaveh stops to take a breath:]

. . . While I am not against lending an ear to a friend, perhaps we ought to address the bird before its disgruntlement grows. [Or it decides to bite them.]

[ohthehumanities]

[DO THEY EVER.]

--just the other day was saying--what? Oh, right. [THERE'S A TASK AT HAND. At least the bird didn't try and sneak up to attack them while they were talking, but it's still giving them both the stinkiest stink eye. Kaveh sighs, putting a hand on his hip.]

I guess the best thing to do would be to coax it with something it likes better, but I have no idea what that might be. Some kind of food, maybe...?

[duskspear]

[What did Alhaitham say the other day . . . ?

Still kneeling, he gives the bird and his shoe a long look.]

How about lizards?

[ohthehumanities]

[What indeed...

Kaveh frowns thoughtfully.]

Do they eat them...? My other self would usually buy specially-made bird food at a shop, so that's what I've been using for now.

[duskspear]

[Do they . . . ? For some reason, it was one of the first answers to come to mind.]

Have you any on hand?

[ohthehumanities]

[Kaveh shakes his head.]

I could try and run to the store, but that might take too long. [Surely Roland needs his shoe because he was going somewhere??] Hold on, let me try the food I have. It usually doesn't work, but it can't hurt...

[Off he goes!! He will return with a bag of what is probably obnoxiously expensive bird food... in the meantime, Demon Bird stares at Roland like he killed its parents.]

[duskspear]

[No one can say that Kaveh doesn't spoil his bird. Roland feels a wee bad, but it's not good for the bird, at whom he stares back with no idea on how to engage, to eat a shoe, either.

Tentatively, he starts to lift a hand, palm up, toward the bird.]

[ohthehumanities]

[TRULY NO ONE CAN SAY THAT AND WHAT IS THE THANKS HE GETS FOR IT, absolutely nothing.

The bird watches Roland's hand with its beady lil eyes. It makes some kind of unintelligible noise, and it doesn't drop the shoe, but it doesn't try and attack Roland either. Neutrality, or a stand-off... who's to say...]

[duskspear]

[Neutrality is good. A stand-off is okay, too. There's an absence of outright hostility and that's fantastic. Some part of Roland knows not to push it, so he keeps his hand where it is with the hopes that the bird or Kaveh will come around soon.]

[ohthehumanities]

[There is a distant thumping noise and a muffled curse as Kaveh digs out a dish to put this bird's food in. Meanwhile, the bird continues to watch Roland's hand; when he doesn't move, it turns around and begins to waddle away with the shoe. Goodbye.]

[duskspear]

[The thumping draws Roland's gaze in Kaveh's unseen direction. Is Kaveh okay?

By the time Roland turns back around, the bird has already waddled out of his reach. Well, then. Seeing as it can't leave the suite, he stands up and watches it go lest he aggravate it further. Goodbye, bird and shoe.]

[ohthehumanities]

[Kaveh is never okay.

But, as if in a comedy skit, Kaveh rounds the corner just as the bird vanishes from sight, a bowl of food in his hand.]

This should do it--where did it go?!

[duskspear]

[One day, Kaveh will be a little okay.]

To whence it came, I imagine. Is it your room?

[He would propose going after it, but if it's someone's bedchamber . . . ]

[ohthehumanities]

Oh, no--

[HE DASHES OFF TOWARDS HIS ROOM. Roland is free to follow if he likes, but even if he doesn't, he'll be able to hear Kaveh's voice.]

Get out from under there, you little--!

[duskspear]

[Was he wrong? Is the bird not meant to be in Kaveh's room?

Roland follows after Kaveh, but peers in from the doorway without entering or looking too much. Where is "under"? Are Kaveh and the bird going to be all right? There's never a dull day around here.]

Kaveh . . . ?

[ohthehumanities]

[THERE TRULY IS NEVER A DULL DAY. When Roland follows, he'll find Kaveh on his stomach on the floor, stretching an arm out under the bed. The floor is littered with papers, pieces of wood, but it looks like a kind of "organized chaos" deal rather than a haphazard mess.]

Give me that--!

[Under the bed, the bird shrieks maniacally. It's definitely laughing at him.]